Saturday, January 31, 2009
upside down @ 9:41 PM;
watching OC and msn-ing with jas.. trying to keep my mind off things..
looking back at the past year and things really changed huh? read tru my past posts.. and everything that happened seems so far that i can barely remember.. gues it was kind of a busy year..
31.o1.o8
cried in the car..because i was overjoyed, after all the waiting and you finally had some kind of reaction?! be it because of a book, a song, or just me.. it doesn't really matter.. but the fact that we're together.. felt you were more than anything i deserved.. i tot we fit.. better than most people in the world..but when everytime when your words dragged me down and filled me with self-doubt.. i wondered if i was good enough for you.. and friends always cheered me up.. telling me i'm better than i think... same routine the whole time... your words, my tears.. my actions, your tears.. but it all seemed fine.. months, half year.. and we tot we were stable.. 6 months!beat that! den it all happened so fast... i accused you, you stopped trusting me... but no one said anything.. and i tot we were okay... but you acted so well.. that i never knew.. how hard it must have been for you to act like you loved me whne you din... and den the day came.. when you spilled out everything, and my world came crashing down...
[copied]mama's damn strong..din cry a single tear..as for the rest of us..who could bear to see her like this?she herself was crying luhs..i bet its like fucking pain..but wad can we do?at least she made it to see 5th aunt this morning..should still be doing well now..i hope she'll get tru all this shit..i thank god for helping her pull tru last night =))and nainai was gone.. cant help but miss her..
There's so much more left to sayIf you were with me today face to faceI never knew I could hurt like thisAnd everyday life goes on likeI wish I could talk to you for awhileI wish I could find a way try not to cryAs time goes byAnd soon as you reached a better placeStill I'll give the whole world to see your faceIt feels like you gone too soon31.o1.o9
cried in my dad's lorry.. mama and da korkor both saw but thank god they din ask anything.. not even after we got home.. so :D
felt alot of emotions just now and now everything's just blank.. i guess its for the better.. saves everyone the emo-ness huh? and posting here will just invite more questions.. some i dun have answers for.. and some i'm trying to hide from.. wadever it is.. i dun really know.. but i'm really trying.. its not an easy day.. ya, i know i said i moved on.. but i guess if you guys really wanna force something out of me.. i would say i dun know.. but this doesn't mean i haven got over it.. it just means that i cant just act like its and ordinary day and just do wad i do everyday.. i hope you guys can understand and cut me some slack.. give me a break.. all these stuff about putting everything behind isn't as easy as it seems ya? so i would appreciate if you guys can help me and not blame me or anything because i cant get over it.. its not that i dun want to.. its a long shot and i'm trying my best :)
the song is SUPER NICE.. in sync with wad i'm feeling now..
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again.